Ever been secretly suspicious of the healthy-looking person who snagged the handicapped spot while you hoofed it from half a mile back? Just because someone may look healthy on the outside doesn’t mean they are: CDC research reveals that more than one in four adults in the US deal with some type of disability every single day. That means over 61 million people struggle with debilitating hearing, vision, cognition, mobility, self-care, and independent living—and many of these are not visible disabilities.
There’s a good chance they are grappling with what the Invisible Disabilities® Association calls an invisible disability, which they define as “a physical, mental or neurological condition that is not visible from the outside, yet can limit or challenge a person’s movements, senses, or activities.” Of course, since you can’t see these symptoms, it’s easy to dismiss them—until all of a sudden you’re trying to parent while managing your own invisible illness.
AMY’S STORY
Family Resource Group’s Publisher Amy L. Foreman always knew something wasn’t quite right with her health. After all, it only took one day of cleaning the house to knock her out for a few days because of the dust. However, she just sucked it up and chalked it up to allergies. Eventually, though, in May of 2016, Amy shares the moment when that changed: “The right side of my face went numb, and a trip to the ER showed my sinus cavities fully blocked requiring me to have sinus surgery to clear them out.”
After years of almost endless sinus infections—and countless allergy shots, pneumonia vaccines, and refills of antibiotics and steroids—she was finally diagnosed with a primary immunodeficiency. According to the Immunity Deficiency Foundation, primary immunodeficiencies (PIs), also called inborn errors of immunity (IEI), are “a group of more than 550 rare, chronic conditions where a part of the body’s immune system is missing or does not function correctly.” While no PI functions the same, all disrupt the body’s immune system.
Amy’s affected her body’s antibodies, the proteins needed to fight off illnesses, which led her to a constant state of sickness. The solution? In September of 2025, her doctor recommended she start regular Intravenous Immunoglobulin (IVIG) treatments. While the infusions drain her limited energy, she says the tradeoff is worth not getting sick all of the time. “For me, fatigue is constant,” Amy admits. “I am always tired, regardless of how much sleep I get or don’t get. It’s not the kind of tiredness that goes away with a good night’s rest—it’s a deep, ongoing exhaustion that becomes part of daily life. And yet, I still show up. I still take care of my responsibilities. I still try to live fully.” She explains that she doesn’t want pity or for people to treat her differently; rather, she just needs a little extra grace, flexibility, and recognition that her sickness is real and challenging, even if it’s not visible.
PARENTING WHILE MANAGING CHRONIC ILLNESS
Sometimes just doing basic tasks like walking into the office, riding the elevator, and sitting down at her desk requires Amy’s body to work overtime. “Just because someone looks okay doesn’t mean they feel okay,” she states. “Invisible doesn’t mean insignificant—it just means you can’t see the battle they may be fighting.” Throw in motherhood, and you’re looking at a tough balancing act. So how do you do it? “Most of us who have dealt with this for a long time have made adjustments in our lives that work for our families and our lifestyles,” Amy explains. “We learn our limits. We plan carefully. We pace ourselves. We build routines around treatments, doctor visits, and recovery time. It may look ‘normal’ from the outside, but it takes intention and resilience behind the scenes.”
THE EVERYDAY CHANGES
Practically, you’re going to have to set some new boundaries to protect your health. This may look like letting the kids help out around the house—even if you feel guilty for letting them, as Amy’s husband Brandon likes to say, “pull their weight.” It might mean avoiding certain chores completely: For instance, Amy is no longer allowed to dust or vacuum the house. On treatment days, the Foremans tend to go out to dinner or order takeout so Amy doesn’t have to cook. It also requires going with the flow, and being okay setting the kids up with a quick snack and a movie so you can rest for an hour. Most importantly, in order to “pull off” parenting while battling an invisible illness, you have to be willing to ask for help when you need it. Your family and friends are likely on the outskirts, just waiting and willing to step in and help the moment you ask. Let them, even if it feels embarrassing to admit you can’t do it all.
HOW TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN
If you’ve been recently diagnosed with a chronic or invisible condition, Amy suggests that you get your facts together first before talking with your children. “Once you fully understand your illness and what your options for wellness are, you can explain to your children the game plan,” she says. “I know my kids do better if I give them the problem but have the solution ready to follow so they don’t spiral or go to Google or ask Alexa a million questions. It’s not the end of the world. Yes, your lifestyle will change, but at least you have answers now and can start getting the proper healthcare that you need.” They may not fully understand, and that’s okay. Amy’s kids are still confused why she was always sick growing up and why she has to get monthly IVIG treatments. But keeping them informed (age-appropriately) and in the loop is important. And who knows? Perhaps they’ll learn a few things along the way, like patience—or how to clean!
KEEP FIGHTING
Parenthood on its own is hard enough. Adding a chronic illness into the mix can make it feel nigh unto impossible some—or rather, most—days. Nevertheless, Amy describes it well: “Parenting while managing an invisible illness feels like running a marathon every single day—showing up fully for your very active kids even when your body is exhausted and no one else can see how hard you’re pushing just to keep going.” But don’t lose heart! You don’t need to be the “perfect” parent—after all, there’s no such thing. Do your best, ask for help when you need it, take naps when you can, prioritize what you need to do vs. what you can delegate, and keep loving those kiddos.
Wondering if your never-ending infections and health problems are something more? Take IDF’s free primary immunodeficiency (PI) self-assessement.
