Adding a new member to the family introduces a lot of challenges: brain fog from late-night feedings, chores piling up because you just don’t have the time or energy to fold laundry right now, and the constant stress of keeping a tiny human alive. Date nights quickly move to the back burner. After all, who can think of romance when you’re covered in baby spit up and wearing the same outfit from three days ago because you still haven’t gotten to that aforementioned laundry?

But the truth is that fostering the connection between you and your partner is more important than ever when you’re in the trenches of newborn life. Your partner isn’t just your parenting teammate; they’re your greatest support system, and deserve to be prioritized. And though your dates may not look like they used to, there are ways you can adapt to this stage of life and keep the spark alive. 

Reset Expectations

It’s not necessarily realistic to plan for weekly date nights out. Instead, recognize that romantic connections can happen over a cup of coffee when baby is asleep, or even just sitting together without screens.

Share the Load

Divide duties to lighten the physical and mental burden of parenting. When you preserve energy and feel supported, you’re opening space up for intimacy. 

Communicate Honestly

It’s okay to admit that you’re exhausted or overwhelmed (or both!). Let your partner know what you need. Honest communication helps you navigate parenthood as true partners, not just co-parents. 

Get Creative

When you have the opportunity and energy, plan some at-home date nights for after baby is asleep. Here are a few ideas:

  • After-Bedtime Bistro

Light a candle, play soft music, and enjoy eating a takeout meal with interruption. 

  • Love Letters

Get out the fun stationery and write each other romantic, encouraging notes to read on a particularly hard day of parenting. 

  • Slow Dance

Put on a special song and sway in the living room.

  • Stargaze

Take the baby monitor outside with you and spend some time on a blanket in the backyard staring at the stars. 

Small Gestures

Romance doesn’t just mean dates. Show your partner that you think of them often through small gestures. 

  • Prepare their coffee before they get out of bed. 
  • Set calendar reminders to send meaningful texts throughout the day (Pro tip: You can schedule messages ahead of time!). 
  • When you do the weekly grocery run, grab a snack or candy they love and surprise them when they need it.